Did you go on just one date and all of a sudden you don’t hear from the person again? You might wonder after one date, what could’ve possibly gone wrong? You might even wonder how you should respond when this happens.
Why Are You Being Ghosted After Date 1?
Ghosting is something that is a newer term, but many people don’t know what it really means. Being ghosted after a first date can mean that the person doesn’t call, message or act like he even knows you after meeting you.
It also means that he doesn’t care to reach out to you which means he probably isn’t really interested in dating you. This can be hurtful a little if you liked him, but this isn’t something that you should take really personal. You don’t want to be with someone that doesn’t want you back.
First Date
Ghosting after being on a first date might mean that a guy you went out with doesn’t respond to you after a date when you send him a message. Chances are if this happens then you might not even hear from him ever again.
This strategy to stop seeing someone again can happen after a first date or it can happen after a few days after meeting him, but he will just slowly stop messaging until he no longer talks to you again. Most of the time this is called “caspering” and is a form of ghosting but is considered friendlier.
The thing is that when you are the one that is trying to contact this person again and it just isn’t working out with him, and he isn’t answering you are being ghosted. If both of you gradually stop talking, that isn’t ghosting and that is on both of you for ending the situation.
Why Do People Ghost Others?
Why do people ghost others especially after a first date? Why are people not person enough to just tell you that they aren’t interested in you? This is something that does take a lot of courage, but this is a better method than just rejecting someone. Ghosting someone after a first date is still rejection but it is easier for the person to not have to explain why they don’t want to talk to you anymore, but for the one that is being ghosted, it’s hurtful.
This can be confusing when you went on the date, and it seemed to go well. You might even reflect on the things that you talked about over dinner, and you might have felt that you made a great connection with them. Maybe they even told you that they were excited about seeing you again. This can make it even more confusing.
Don’t take these things personally because most of the time someone doesn’t do this to be vindictive or hurtful, but they do it because they don’t know what to say or how to end things. Even though they most likely led you on somewhat, they are probably someone who is immature and someone who isn’t ready for a serious relationship. They are someone that needs to have better morals and to learn how to treat people kindly.
Is Ghosting Normal?
It isn’t normal for anyone to ghost you after a first date or a million dates. Ghosting is something that happens and it is how people tend to handle situations in the here and now. It happens and it seems to happen even more but not to just you but to all kinds of people. Even though it happens, it doesn’t mean it isn’t hurtful and it doesn’t mean that its an okay thing to do to someone. It is normal for people to ghost, and it isn’t something that will probably happen to you over and over.
Dating can be disappointing sometimes but don’t give up. Even if one person doesn’t treat you right it doesn’t mean that someone else won’t come along and do better. There will be some people that are amazing that will come into your life and treat you perfectly. Don’t let someone that left a bad taste in your mouth cause you to give up on love.
What to Do After Being Ghosted?
Now that you get what you’ve been through isn’t right and you’re sure you’ve been ghosted, you might want to know what you do with this. If you’ve been ghosted after a first, second or third date, here’s what to do!
- Accept That it Happened
The first thing that we have to learn to do is to accept that something happened. It is something that hurt your feelings and upset you, but it happened. You might want to make excuses for him or believe that he is making you wait, or you might be mad at him and want to get revenge. Don’t act on these feelings right now but just accept that this situation happened and move forward.
You might have messaged this person after they ghosted you after a great first date but just let it go at that and instead of reaching out to him anymore, accept that he did this to you and walk away. Don’t chase after him or act like it’s okay that he treated you this way.
- Show Your Emotions
The next thing to do is to show your emotions. Feel the pain of being rejected. You went out of your way to go out with this person, and you took the time for them to get to know you and vice versa.
Chances are that they might have been a good person and that you invested time into them to get to know them. This can make feeling rejected worse but the best thing that you can do is to show and feel your emotions.
You might wonder if you’re even good enough to date again or why they would do that to you or what they didn’t like about you. Instead of just asking questions, know that you have negative feelings about this and allow yourself to show these feelings. You don’t have to hide your emotions even if you didn’t date him but once. It’s natural to have negative emotions after feeling rejected.
We are people that find it hard to be rejected and this can make you feel pain in your heart. If you need to cry, do it. If you’re angry, go to the gym and hash it out. Do what it takes to get your feelings out without showing the world that you are mad.
You have a right to feel your emotions and before you can ever even deal with them, you’re going to have to feel them. Know that this happened and then allow yourself to feel and then move forward without holding on to negative emotions.
Get rid of these emotions so that you can continue to see dating as a good things. Don’t let this ruin your future of finding love.
- Keep Going!
Once you’ve been ghosted it can be easy to want to give up on dating and on love. As long as you have accepted that this happened and you let your emotions out, it is time to keep going and moving forward.
If this is the first time that you’ve ever been ghosted, don’t worry about it too much. It just means that you weren’t meant to be and it’s time to move forward. Someone that will ghost you after you give them your time isn’t worth worrying about.
Taking some time off form dating is okay if you need to but if you don’t, go ahead and throw yourself right back into the dating pool. You will see that you can meet other people along the way that will treat you right.
Should You Message the Person Who Ghosted You?
This is one of the biggest questions when it comes to being ghosted. You might be someone that just wants to close things down and to have an actual ending to the relationship and so you might wonder if you should message that person.
This is completely up to you. It really depends on who you are and what you would like to do to get closure. If you feel that this is the only way that you can, by all means do it. Make sure that you say the right things and that you stay calm so that he doesn’t think that you’re being crazy or stalking him.
If you don’t really want to talk to him or say anything then don’t. Messaging this person isn’t going to get them to come back to you and more than anything it will probably just make them think that you’re bitter.
What if They Contact You?
If someone contacts, you after ghosting them then you are the one that is now in control of the situation. You can decide if you want to respond back to their message or if you don’t want to respond to them at all.
You can choose to not say anything after how you were treated, you can choose to call them out for ghosting you or you can be nice and friendly but don’t forget that he did this to you and don’t feel that you need to make the relationship work. This person could potentially ghost you again if they did it once.
Sometimes people mess up and they ghost someone when they aren’t quite sure what to do. If you want to give the person a second chance then you can, that’s totally up to you. All things happen for a reason and every situation will be different. Make sure that you aren’t going to let them disrespect you or to continue to ghost you whenever its convenient for them. Remember that you have worth.
Should You Make Him Regret How He Treated You?
No one wants to be in a situation where they feel that they have been mistreated or ghosted. If you’re in this situation after a first date, then you might want to move on and live your best life so that the person that did this to you can regret how they treated you.
After being ghosted after a first date, you might feel the need to fight or just move on. Look at your life and the person you were talking to and be thankful that they left you when they did. Not only this, if you’re stuck with someone that isn’t right then you won’t have open doors to meet the person that is. So be thankful that they left you when they did.
